


Frustration and Tears

by nerdyholler (katznhund)



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Comfort, F/M, tired crying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-07
Updated: 2017-05-07
Packaged: 2018-10-28 22:38:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10840902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katznhund/pseuds/nerdyholler
Summary: Unsettled by the events on Kadara, Ryder hasn’t been able to get a good night’s sleep. Tired and frustrated, she bursts into tears in the tech lab, where Jaal finds and comforts her.





	Frustration and Tears

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt "Why are you crying" on tumblr.

Things were settled on Kadara, or at least as settled as they could be. Plans were underway to start setting up the outpost and Ryder was glad to be putting as much space as possible between herself and the planet.

The last few days had been…difficult. Of all the scenarios she’d mentally gone through for how to resolve the power struggle in the port, none prepared her for what actually happened. She’d made a split second decision, SAM said sniper and she instinctively pushed Sloane out of the way. She hadn’t even tried to stop Reyes from fleeing afterwards, still dumbstruck by the entire situation.

Now Sloane was willing to work with her, but only her. Ryder had an outpost for Tann and Addison, but at what cost? She’d made a deal with the devil, whether she intended to or not. Whether it was right for the people of Kadara or not. Now her thoughts drifted back to the angara she’d seen being beaten when they first arrived, those who were pushed out of their homes for not paying protection fees, and worst of all, the people in the slums, high on Oblivion, their addiction lining the pockets of the woman she’d help keep in power.

Since then, her sleep had been fitful, a few hours here or there and then she’d see the glint of the sniper’s scope or smell the sulfurous fumes that covered the planet and wake up. The lack of consistent rest was wearing on her and this time, exhausted, she’d fallen asleep at her desk, reports scattered around her. Looking over at the clock, it was early evening. She probably missed dinner but, thankfully, no one would ask too many questions. However, focusing on the rest of her reports would be impossible. She remembered the new scope she’d been tinkering with and hoped doing something with her hands might provide a distraction for her mind.

When the door to the tech lab slid open, it was empty. Ryder hated to admit she felt relieved. Jaal could always tell when something was wrong and usually managed to make her feel better, but right now she was glad to be alone. She went to the workbench with her scope and started making fine adjustments to the sights.

For half an hour she struggled and failed to get things just right. The tiny screwdriver she was holding slipped and scraped the thin skin just below her thumbnail. Ryder cursed, dropping everything with a metal clang, and grabbed her thumb. There was only a small drop of blood and she knew a bruise would form later, but that didn’t stop tears from welling up in her eyes. She tried blinking them back, but to no avail.

Finally, she gave in. Putting her elbows on the workbench, she buried her face in her hands and let herself cry. Crying over this seemed ridiculous, it didn’t make any sense, but at this point, she was too tired to care.

The door opened and she heard Jaal’s familiar footsteps. She tried to compose herself but there wasn’t enough time. Jaal was by her side in a few hurried steps, his hand on her back.

“Darling one, why are you crying?”

Ryder stood up, taking a deep breath and wiping the away the tears. “It’s nothing, I promise, I just stabbed myself with the screwdriver while I was working.” She tried to fake a smile and keep her tone light. She doubted it was very convincing.

“Are you hurt?” Jaal started to take her hands, “Allow me to look.”

Instinctively she pulled them away, “I’m not…it’s just a little blood and a bruise. I swear, I’m fine, everything’s fine.”

“Ryder…” his tone was mildly chastising, though she knew he meant well.

She focused her attention on the bottom of his rofjinn and the way the fabric swayed slightly when he breathed. “I’m just tired, that’s all. Sometimes I cry when I’m tired.”

Jaal placed a finger under her chin and raised her head until she met his eyes. Looking at him, his open expression of concern and caring, brought tears to the surface again. She closed her eyes and moved her head away, not bothering to wipe away the drops that rolled down her cheeks. “Jaal, please,” was all she could manage without making things worse.

Jaal let his hand fall, leaning back to put some space between them. “You know you can tell me anything. I’m here for you.”

“I know,” her voice was little more than a squeak, “but not right now.” The tears were flowing freely and she resigned herself to standing silently in front of him, crying.

They stayed like that for several minutes, Ryder with her head down and eyes closed, knowing Jaal was watching her intently, probably confused and worried. It didn’t make her feel any better.

Finally, Jaal broke the silence, “Would you like me to” he paused, “hold you?”

Ryder nodded and his arms were around her, hands gently rubbing her back. Gradually she realized he was moving, rocking her back and forth like a mother comforting a child. Surrounded by his strong body, the beating of his heart steady in her ears, her worries faded and she felt safe.

The tears slowed until she was able to take a few deep breaths without sniffling or crying. Ryder moved her head and saw the dark spot she’d made on the blue fabric in front of her. “I got your rofjinn wet.”

“It’s alright,” Jaal smiled and rubbed one of the wet streaks on her cheek with his thumb, “it will dry.”

She tried to laugh but the huff only managed to force snot from her nose. Surprised, she wiped it away then looked at her hand, “Sorry.”

Jaal handed her a shop towel, “Feeling better?”

She sniffled, “Yeah.” It was the truth, the wave of emotion that came over her had passed, though it left her feeling even more tired and drained than before. Finally able to meet his gaze she looked up at him and gave a weak smile. “I should go get cleaned up, maybe lie down for a little bit.” She fidgeted with the towel, “Would you come by later? In a couple of hours?”

“Of course, my darling one.”

“Thank you, for everything.” She hugged Jaal once more and returned to her quarters to rest.


End file.
